Opening up about my recent surgery hasn’t been the easiest for me. I feel like… I am still processing it myself. At some point when I am ready to go into depth about it, I will. But right now I am struggling with horrible anxiety stemming from years misdiagnosis and the battles of facing recovery – yet again. And at times I can’t help but feel angry and confused at to how things have come to be.
After I took this picture the only caption I could think of that would fit it was – “my soul slides away, but don’t look back in anger I heard you say”
Anxiety is a bitter old friend of mine. I say friend because there is definitely something familiar about it.
Over this last year, I haven’t been struggling with it as much as I used to … but naturally a big life event such as surgery and diagnosis has seemed to resurrect it without warning. And in anxiety’s classic fashion, it has pushed me around unlike anything I have ever experienced.
With times of change in my life, often comes that feeling of uneasiness. And right now I can’t help but feel like I am struggling with trusting my intuition. Like most anxiety sufferers – its hard to distinguish what is anxiety and what is a gut feeling. So, my overall default answer to everything is: wishing I could do more in all areas of my life.
All of that stress comes with enormous amounts of pressure that we layer upon ourselves — which really just hurts us more than it helps.
I recently came across this quote which really spoke to me …
Just because you carry it all so well,
Doesn’t mean it’s not heavy.
I feel like this quote shows – that yeah even though we manage to get through life reasonably well and can handle things – It doesn’t mean that what we are dealing with isn’t heavy stuff. I think sometimes we really do forget to:
- Take it all in and,
- Appreciate how far we have come and how much we are carrying.
Never forget that even when you are experiencing awful things – there are antidotes. There are methods and things that can help ease the pain and symptoms surrounding anxiety.
Please go see one of my previous posts – TOP TIPS FOR ANXIETY ATTACKS FROM FELLOW ANXIETY SUFFERERS It outlines soooo many ways to ease and improve anxiety. And I am sure you will find something that is right for you – and is a good fit.
This post is extremely different to my normal ones, but with this new obstacle I hope to take you along with me as I aim to overcome it over the next few months.
I want to start a new series where I trial different techniques, talk about some things and report back to you as well as sharing things I notice on the way.
Never give up hope.
Lots of love, Susie