Everyone told me second year out of school is the best, you finally get a good routine and have more freedom. Yet 2016 which I hoped would ‘be my year’ was nothing like I expected and it started to go down hill from day one – 1/1/16.
All year I had believed 2016 was not my year, one of my worst years yet – my health declined so much I needed a carer, I could barely walk, I stopped university (the last thing I ever wanted to do), hardly able to see my friends and lost relationships due to me being sick.
However I am starting to see maybe this was my year?? Sounds insane but it was the year I grew as a person. I matured. I had to adapt to having nothing and being okay with that. I learnt to be patient and appreciative of peoples care for me. I lost friends yes, but I gained stronger friendships too – as the people who really cared stuck by me and we grew closer then ever.
I was able to achieve some things I wanted and really learn to appreciate the little things in life. Some days I would be in bed all day, hardly see anyone but I would just wait for the sunset. The goal was to get up and see the sunset and take a picture. Which may sound crazy but it is what kept me going. I felt something almost spiritual about looking at the sunset, it made me realise I really am lucky to have this chance to rest so I can properly recover.
I evolved as a person and learnt to accept that things aren’t always what you hope or planned. My goals from such a young age were derailed and I learnt to just let it go, even though I deserve it as much as anyone. In saying this of course there are times when its hard, everything is too much, nothing is what you planned and you are not where you want to be but I think its important to let yourself be sad to accept the situation. You are strong, but don’t need to be all the time. Experience the pain because it will make you stronger.